The soft places..

This morning, when the sky was still dark, I woke up crying. I had dreamt of my beloved and me standing at the airport custom, saying our farewells.

Before this point in time, I had not really picture her imminent departure from my life. Always the optimist, I had thought of this new chapter of my life with both apprehension and curiousity . Like a child negotiating a turn on a foreign street, curious of what he would find on the other side, I had somewhat anticipated the change. Perhaps like a foolish poet, I had even romanticised our seperation.

But this day, in my dreams, I saw her leaving. I remember hugging her tightly and repeatedly making her promise that she would stay safe in the unfamiliar land. My advice had been common-sensical, but I said it over and over again because there is a trace of comfort in thinking that my words will keep her safe. For the first time since I knew of her eventual departure, the gravity of it descended upon me. I felt the solitude of living life apart from her intensely and I suffered acutely within.

When I woke up, the tears wouldn't stop streaming down my cheeks. I haven't cried in a long time. I used to think sadness is one of the most tiring emotions. Today I remember how true that is.